When you're the guest

Most of those who know me know that I don't like to be a burden on others:
- I refuse car rides if I'm within half a mile of my house,
- at a dinner party I leave the last piece of food for the host,
- if my hosts are trying to clean or straighten things up I offer to help and usually feel uncomfortable if I don't,
- and if I have money I usually try to contribute my fair share if not pay the full sum for my host and myself. At the very least I try to go Dutch.

The problem with this approach, however, is that as a guest in China, my hosts do just about everything they can to liberate me of the need to physically exert myself, pay for something, or in any way contribute more than my voice or stomach (the one exception being when I bought clothes, soap and utensils for my apartment).
Yesterday one of my hosts (Helen) made a huge lunch for me, her son and Zhou Ling ("Jada") (on of Julie's grad students) and wouldn't let me help her prepare or clean up but insisted that I sit in the living room with Jada. I didn't mind sitting with Jada, but as I said above, I hate not doing something to help.

Then later her husband joined us and we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant. I tried to pay the check and they adamantly refused. (Sigh).